About My Blog

Hello! I am a 25-year-old female living in Canada. This blog is an attempt to chronicle my journey through a turbulent and painful time in my life. I am currently going through some major life changes. I will not deny that there are many much needed and controllable changes I need to make in my life, but it is the uncontrollable, painful unknown changes that scare, overwhelm and frustrate me. I severely injured my way back on February 23, 2010 and since that day my life hasn’t been and probably never will be the same again. I am not saying that out of self pity, it is my reality right now and something I am struggling to accept.

I have finally addressed the underlying problems with my back, after spending close to thirteen months in physical therapy and on many different varieties and increased doses of pain medication I finally had my surgery on March 03, 2011. The purpose of the operation was to fuse three of my vertebrae using titanium rods to support my spine while synthetic bone fuses itself around the area. I am now hopeful that through months, maybe years of diligence and hard work I may be able to cope with and maybe even overcome this ridiculous injury in order to become a better, albeit not the same, person.

This blog is meant to be a positive place for me to honestly express what I have been through and what I am facing daily. I will try my best not to be negative or overly whiny in this space, but I make no guarantee that my pain won’t get the best of me at times. I can’t be honest without expressing some of my pain as it informs so many different facets of my life. Unfortunately this extended struggle has made me tired physically, mentally and emotionally and at times I will struggle with finding passion for life.

There are a few passions that I can already define which I hope to discuss here. (Click on one of the links to the right under the heading “More about me and my passions”) Reading and writing are both very dear to me. This is my first venture into writing for a public audience so forgive me if I am slightly bashful. Beyond my passion for the English language I have recently taught myself to knit and am thoroughly enjoying learning new knitting skills daily. I have also discovered a deep rooted love for loose leaf tea. There is something about the ritual of making a loose leaf cup that calms me. For the fifteen or twenty minutes when I am enjoying my first tea of the day, nothing matters and that is an amazing thing in my painful life.

For those of my dear readers who have experienced a spinal fusion, or other major procedure that involves months or years to recover from, I’d bet you can imagine and even understand some of the changes and constant struggleI am going through. Your advice, comments or anything at all that you have to offer would be invaluable and greatly appreciated. For those of my dear readers who have not experienced acute, agonizing and long-lasting pain (I sincerely hope that this is the vast majority!),  I hope to be able to bring you just a little piece of myself, my struggle and  in the end (hopefully) my transition from darkness to light as I heal and if I am lucky I may just find my ‘life path’, for lack of a better term, along the way.

It is my hope that this blog will help me along my journey from overwhelming  pain to re-discovering my passions. Any comments or suggestions would also be appreciated, as I need all the perspective I can get during what has been, and sadly continues to be one of the darkest and most challenging periods of my life. There is good there, and I have challenged myself to find it…

Please click here to start at the beginning of my story if you are interested in reading more. I would sincerely appreciate any feedback you have and I hope you enjoy your visit!

As always, thanks for reading!                  – S.

9 Comments to “About My Blog”

  1. Hi S,

    Thank you for your message on my blog yesterday, I’ve had a thorough read through yours today and realise that although we’ve had different operations leading to multiple problems we are in a very similar situation. Not only physically but reading through pasts posts I realise that I’ve been in a very similar psychological place as you.

    I had my right hip operated on in July 2009 and I’ve never been the same since. I’ve seen countless physio’s and tried numerous alternative therapies but all to no avail. I’m now in a worse position physically than I’ve ever been. I struggle with walking, sitting, standing infact I struggle with just about every activity going and the only occasional relief I have is lying down, but even that gives me intense back pain after a couple of hours.

    My pain got much, much worse around this time last year which was when I slipped into a metaphorical hole I never thought I’d escape from. It was dark, it didn’t seem real and each day I’d think what is the point in living my life this way. Although I am now improving I’m still yet to conquer the demon that is depression and feel I have a way to go yet. My social life has become well and truly none existent, I’ve isolated myself from seeing old friends and I get incredibly anxious at the thought of going out of my comfort zone which is where I sit and write this post. I try not to think too much about the future as I dread the thought of being in this situation in 10 years time but it’s damn hard not to think about it.

    I’ve spent a lot of my time reading books on spirituality which I find really interesting and helpful to a certain extent. I’m learning more and more about myself each and every day as I live in constant pain but I do see a light at the end of the tunnel, albeit a small one.

    Anyway, I’ll leave it there, all I’ll say now is send me a message whenever you want and don’t worry if it’s negative.

    All the best,

    Chris.

  2. You left a comment on my page a few days back and I finally was able to stop by (sorry it took me forever to do so). I really enjoy the premise you have going on here. Also, I could immediately tell that you are a writer. I have subscibed to this blog and will add you to my blogroll.

    On a more personal note I really admire what you are doing both in regard to keeping this blog and with your recovery. I am really looking forward to going through the posts you have here and even more importantly watch you progress through what I am assuming must be a difficult time.

    Well, expect to see my comments sprout up during the coming days. Until then, take care!

    -Kate

    • Hey Kate!
      I am so glad you stopped by! And thanks for subscribing! I love hearing other’s view on my situation and I find that strangers have more perspective than those closest the situation.
      Thank you for your kind words. It is a difficult time, and I started the blog to help me deal with some of the isolating and discouraging factors of recovery. I have found a wealth of support and friendship here, and look forward to adding you to my both of those categories and my regular repertoire. I look forward to watching you blossom from writer into a published and well-known author. Remember I am always here if you would like an opinion or edit, and writing should always be a joy, so don’t be to hard on yourself!
      I hope this note finds you well and happy!
      Best,
      -S.

  3. After returning to a new Space that I found here in WordPress I noticed your comment upon a blog that I had commented upon and being rather inquisitive I thought that I would journey over here, well, via a single mouse click and see what your Space is all about.

    On landing here I find a very nice layout with some really interesting and indeed life changing blogs, of course I am only at the very beginning of your story but I will return and learn more about you and your accident by back tracking through your Space. From what I have read so far I know that you are certainly a determined young woman as any form of back injury is extremely serious, and the physiotherapy that follows this traumatic upset is difficult to say the very least.

    I think that now and again you are bound to have times of despair where a feelings of hopelessness set in and push your patience levels but with sheer strength of mind and willpower the struggle will become easier, I know that nothing here is simplistic and I am definitely not making light of your injury, indeed I am hoping that I am offering you a positive response in my first comment, and I sincerely wish you well in your great quest.

    Have a lovely rest of weekend my friend…

    Androgoth – The Goth Prince

    • Hi Androgoth,
      Thank you so much for your comment and taking the time to pursue my story! Thanks for being curious too, if it weren’t for curiosity I don’t think I would have gotten as much as out of writing this blog as I have. I enjoy hearing others opinions and pursuing other blogs. While I agree it is nice to visualize the people you chatting with I like that people, myself included, tend to be more honest in their interactions in cyber space than they are out here in the real world. It is refreshing to write to my hearts content and get some feedback. So, thank you.
      I tried to return the favour and see what you were all about but I have no access to your blog. Would you tell me a bit about yourself?
      Physio is a difficult thing to do all the time. You basically work out five days a week and while I have always been fairly healthy my workouts tended more along the lines of once or twice a week. Speaking of physio, I went back today and am planning on composing a post. I still have six or seven comments to respond to, including one more from you before I start, so I will adieu for now and move on to your next comment! 🙂
      I hope this note finds you well!
      Best,
      -S.

    • I hope that your Physio is coming along nicely my friend and if you do wish to call by My Gothic Realm I have now added you to my Privacy area so that your journey will be hassle free, well providing that the Zombies and Ghouls are not too hungry… lol Just kidding

      Have a lovely rest of day and equally a fine evening…

      Androgoth

  4. Hi, S. I’m wondering if you’re doing okay. I hope your walk at the mall didn’t do you in.

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