Archive for ‘challenges’

January 23, 2012

Depression, Motivation and the Drive to Keep Going

Hi all my sorely neglected readers…

What has S. been up to? Recovering.

Recovery has taken over my life and now it is not just the physical recovery from surgery, nor is it only my emotional recovery, rather ‘Recovery’ has become the guiding force in my life. I am recovering from surgery, recovering from  heavy narcotic use and recovering from a deep and overwhelming depression. Actually, I want to be able to say I am recovering from depression but I haven’t quite rounded that corner yet.

Physically, I am recovering, at a snails pace, but I am recovering.

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November 19, 2011

Knitting Paradise and the Amazing Generosity of Strangers

Hey there,

Over the last couple of months I have been trying to find things to create passion in my life… I guess that is the perpetual mission of my blog. I have wanted to write this post for a while and I am so glad I am actually getting to it!

The first half of my newly created knitting, spinning and relaxation corner.

In September, after creeping a great knitting forum called knittingparadise.com I decided to start a Swap for Canadian knitters.

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May 28, 2011

Sometimes…

Sometimes I feel like I am failing and I am flailing to hold onto anything I can grasp. There are days that are so dark I can’t see past the gloom, when I feel like my pain and sadness will swallow me whole, and sometimes I think that would be preferable to loosing a small part of what makes me me everyday…I have days when I can’t see the furture, when it feels like there can’t possibly be  a worse future beyond today and then I wake up tomorrow and sometimes it is worse. Sometimes I just don’t want to be strong anymore, sometimes I can’t pick myself up, sometimes I can barely bare to breathe. Sometimes I don’t want to. Somedays I don’t want to be in pain any more…

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May 21, 2011

Coming Home… Or The Beginning of Recovery


I have been promising this post for a long time, I am not sure why I have been avoiding it. This is the last chapter of the story needed to bring all my dear readers through my journey up to now. I can think of numerous reasons why I wouldn’t want to write this, but none of them seem to be really valid? Maybe sub-consciously I didn’t want to write it, as it is one of the most trying emotional periods yet and it is also still very fresh in my mind, or maybe it is just my deeply ingrained procrastination at work. I think it also makes me a bit sad that I can no longer look back on a time that is a distant memory, I am at the point in my posts where I am just about up to date and I will have to start looking at the present…

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