Sometimes…

Sometimes I feel like I am failing and I am flailing to hold onto anything I can grasp. There are days that are so dark I can’t see past the gloom, when I feel like my pain and sadness will swallow me whole, and sometimes I think that would be preferable to loosing a small part of what makes me me everyday…I have days when I can’t see the furture, when it feels like there can’t possibly be  a worse future beyond today and then I wake up tomorrow and sometimes it is worse. Sometimes I just don’t want to be strong anymore, sometimes I can’t pick myself up, sometimes I can barely bare to breathe. Sometimes I don’t want to. Somedays I don’t want to be in pain any more…